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“Our human’ (egoic) tendency is to want to feel good (and to avoid feeling bad) about ourselves. But without a way to recognizing, accepting and addressing all of who we are, including the shadow side and difficult parts of our experience, our personal growth stops and we remain asleep to our potential.” Richard Rohr In…
Last week I found a copy of Children the Challenge in a used book store. It has been years since I lost or gave away our copy but it was the influential parenting book we used raising our own children. Both Crystal and I were trained as Adlerian Psychologists. Alfred Adler was a contemporary of…
I often ask clients who are their heroes. Who do they look up to? For me, it is Nelson Mandela. We spent 6 years in Zambia, during which time Zimbabwe, formerly Southern Rhodesia, fought and won their independence. At that time Rhodesia had about 3 million blacks and ½ million whites and the results of…
John Harville, a long time fan of Star Trek and specifically of the Vulcan, Mr. Spock, says it was Spock’s good bye blessing that inspired him: “Live long and prosper and let peace be in your land.” He then goes on to list any number of statistics showing that on average married people “are healthier,…
Crystal Kotow-Sullivan Of course I am not a linear thinker…I wrote about rule number 9 last week and totally missed rule #8 which is “Your Brain Has a Mind of Its Own”. With all the recent research in neuroplasticity, we know for sure that our brains are resilient and powerful, if we use them in…
Crystal Kotow-Sullivan Oh dear! I am late with this post. I have been thinking about several things this week. The Truth this week that marriage is a laughing matter is so true! We have to laugh together. John and I usually have a good laugh at least once a day! Wasn’t always like this. I…
John Behind every negative thought (you are always late) is an unmet desire. And what is an unmet desire if not a wish? Think of a frustration you might have with your partner. What do you typically FEEL when your partner frustrates you in this particular way? Then, what do you typically DO when you…
Appreciating our differences allows us to see the positive in each other.
Half the conversation is accomplished through listening and non-verbal communication.
Taking time to focus only on each other causes healing.