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I hope all of you had a great family day yesterday. Heard from my daughter, their family was camping in Gatineau and on the ski out ran into a 7-foot moose who then tailed them. Nothing like that here in Windsor. In any case, the last two weeks I shared Harville and Helen’s comments on…
In intimate relationships, we call the 3 stages: Romantic love, The Power Struggle, and Adaptation/Resolution. The first 2 are covered in the rest of this chapter and the adaptation/resolution stage will be examined in Chapter 7. Here is something I never knew before. “All relationships, like life, go through stages. Intimate relationships and other significant…
Let’s continue our discussion with the Imago Match, from last’s week’s blog. Here is an interesting question for you. “What leads us to choose that one person (or maybe two or three or four) to spend our lives with out of the countless others we could have chosen?” (p.129) Not a bad question really! Why…
Many of you know I have been an Imago Relationship therapist for the last 34 years. Two years ago Harville and Helen, the creators of Imago, published a Clinician’s Guide titled Doing Imago Relationship Therapy in the Space-Between. It is a pretty intense volume. What I thought I would do for the next few weeks…
“By acts of service, I mean doing things you know your spouse would like you to do.” (P.87) The caveat is: ”No one likes to be forced to do anything, in fact, love is always freely given. Love cannot be demanded. We can request things from each other, but we must never demand anything. Requests…
Today, we’ll focus on the key fundamentals of a great relationship and coaching which can help you achieve it. Last month I spoke of using the word coaching, rather than therapy, for what I do in the office. Therapy often has the negative connotation that there is something wrong with a person. Whereas, with coaching,…
Why coaching? Here is a perfect, but tragic, example where couples coaching is needed. A few weeks ago a fellow called asking about counselling. His wife had asked him numerous times to go to counselling. His macho (his words) response was: “I don’t need counselling, you go and get your s— together”. The day before…
I encountered a specific relationship challenge recently, the concept of “it’s not fair!” Relationship Challenge “What you are doing is not working.” I used that phrase the other day in the office and was challenged by my client. His understanding was the phrase meant that he was doing something wrong. The way he saw it…
Monday was family day and I hope everyone had a chance to do something a little special for your partner or children or parents or extended family. I typically just work with couples, but on reflection, who has the greatest influence on a child? Obviously, it is the parents. I would go on to say…
Amplify the Positives On Day 1, I introduced the first holiday relationship tip in this series, the importance of safety in any committed relationship. One way to increase safety is to increase pleasure. Now you would think that is a fairly obvious equation, safety equals pleasure, but there is a part of our culture that…