I often ask clients this question because I think it is helpful to be able to look up to others who have overcome challenges and obstacles when we are going through difficult times in our own lives.
If they can do it, so can we.
A hero can be living or dead, a family member or colleague, an historical figure, or your best friend. And obviously, you can have more than one hero in your life.
One of my own heroes is Nelson Mandela. My wife and I spent six years in Zambia, Central Africa in the late 70’s and early 80’s. At that time, neighbouring Zimbabwe was fighting for their independence; Angola and Mozambique were also in the midst of liberation struggles.
If you look at the line-up of countries on a map of Africa, you would see that the next country in line, which would also take up the liberation torch, is South Africa. At that time, South Africa had 30 million blacks and 10 million whites – all the ingredients for a recipe of total disaster. But Mandela, who had spent 27 ½ years in jail, 18 of which he resided in an 8 by 7 foot cell on Robben Island, was able to advocate for a peaceful settlement and create a country which was home to all: black, white, coloured, and Indian.
In his book Invictus, John Carlin tells the true story of South Africa winning the Rugby World Cup in 1995 and how Mandela used that sporting event to unite the country. In it, he has Mandela make the point to Francois Pienaar, the captain of the Rugby team, that sometimes we need something or someone outside of ourselves to help us overcome difficulties or do better than we believe we can. For him it was a poem. “Just words,” he said, “but on Robben Island, when all I wanted to do was lie down it gave me the courage to stand up.”
Here is the poem by William Ernest Henley (1849-1903) entitled Invictus.
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond the place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
No matter who your heroes are, sometimes emulating someone you look up to can help you look internally at who you are and make you want to be a better person.“If my heroes can overcome their challenges – challenges that sometimes were far worse than what I am facing – surely I can make small changes in my life for the better.”
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
