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John Sullivan Counselling

Marriage Counselling and Couples Therapy

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The Wellness Journey: 3 intermediate steps – Re boot, Rediscover, Re-energize

So as we journey from Pain Island to Pleasure Island, there will be three stops along the way and three challenges to master at each stop.

First step in your Wellness Journey

Reboot. Like a computer that isn’t working exactly the way we want it to, the first course of action is to reboot it. Same with relationships. If it is not working as well as we would like, let’s first reboot it. The three challenges here will be: a) learning the Imago system, b) understanding the importance of safety and c) learning the Safe Conversation process.

Second step to Wellness

Rediscover. Let’s rediscover why we fell in love in the first place; how we can make the relationship healthy now as well as how to keep it that way in the future. The three challenges at this stop are to examine the past, the present and the future:  a) the past – the challenge is to learn how the past does affect the present and how that can show up in a relationship,  b) the present – the challenge here is to recognize the importance of the space between – that real energy field between partners and why we need to pay close attention to it, and c) in the future – the absolute necessity of eliminating all negativity in the relationship as we go forward.

The third and last step to Wellness

On the way to Pleasure Island is to Re-energize the relationship. How can we do that? The three challenges here are: a) to create a concrete vision of what we want our relationship on Pleasure Island to look like, b) to close any exits or ways we might avoid dealing with issues or frustrations that will crop up in the relationship, and finally by c) re-romanticizing the relationship – learning the importance of positive affirmations and appreciations, of doing kind things to our partner both physically and verbally,  and of keeping the energy alive with surprises and doing fun things together.

Those are the major stops on the Wellness Journey. Next time we will take a closer look at both Pain Island and Pleasure Island. Then we will examine each of the three major stops on the journey as well as the three challenges each stop presents.

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Relationship Issues

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Truth 10: Your Marriage is the Best Life Insurance Plan

By the end of the book readers would know that Harville likes Star Trek and that one of his favorite characters is the Vulcan, Mister Spock. In fact, Harville credits Spock with summing up what he and Helen do. “It was Spock’s good-bye blessing that inspired me: Live long and prosper, and let peace be […]

Truth 9: Your Marriage is a Laughing Matter

The title of this chapter camouflages a more serious philosophical question: as humans, who are we really?  Harville’s contention is that: “At our core is JOY. It is our essential nature – with us from the moment of birth. Birds have flocks. Dogs have packs. Horses have herds. And humans are wired for connection.  Connection […]

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About The Coach

That's how he likes to think of himself - a coach. John Sullivan won't fix your relationship. He gives you the tools to help you build permanent and lasting connections and a deeper intimacy with those in your life.

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