I have said this before but I think it is worth repeating: I truly believe the fastest way forward for any couple is to protect the Space-Between them. It is a real energy field, and you can tell, can’t you, when there is tension in the Space-Between? It is either tension-free or it is not. You cannot continue putting negativity into that space. Negativity causes a disconnect, and what you want is connection. Negativity is to your relationship what cancer is to your body!! They both kill.
Refill the Space Between
On the flip side, you want to refill the Space-Between with positives. I happened to come across this post from Harville Hendrix and his wife, but it speaks to the importance of refilling the Space-Between with positives. Here is what they say:
“June marks the halfway point of the year – a natural invitation to pause and take stock in the past half a year. June is often filled with celebrations, vacations, and joyful gatherings. This month, we encourage you to fill your relationship with some seasonal love and by learning to share appreciations with your partner.
When we recognize and name the good in each other, we create emotional safety, deepen trust, and keep our relational space vibrant and alive. These expressions of gratitude can be brief, expressive, or deeply reflective:
3 Appreciations Types
Simple Appreciations
They may be quick, but they accumulate powerfully: “Thanks for remembering my tea this morning.” Or, “I appreciate you driving today so I could rest.”
Shared Appreciations
These happen in front of others or during intentional time together. They add a layer of meaning, both because of the context and because they tend to be more thought out. “I love how you always bring humour into tense moments – it helps me reset and remember what matters.”
Deep Appreciations
These are the ones that ask us to be vulnerable, to connect past and present, to reveal what really touches us. “When you listened without trying to fix things last night, I felt heard in a way I haven’t in years. It reminded me of how safe I felt with my grandfather when I was little – just being there with me was enough. Thanks you for that gift.”
Guide for deeper appreciations: I appreciate when you … When you do that, I feel … It reminds me of …
Celebrating your partner isn’t just a nice gesture – it’s a vital form of connection. Make it consistent and make it count!”
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