The 12 days of Christmas Relationship Tips 2. Safe Conversation Having safe conversation is a structured process that allows two people to talk to each other about anything but in a safe manner. Safe Conversations takes things out of the power struggle (I am right and you are wrong). It simply makes sure each partner […]
Holiday Relationship Tips: 1
The 12 days of Christmas Relationship Tips Create Safety Sounds simple, but safety is one of the keys to a great relationship. Here we are hopefully using the cerebral cortex part of our brain, but we all also have the midbrain – which does all kinds of things, and the brain stem. Scientists tell us […]
Principle 7: Create Shared Meaning
In this chapter (Principle 7), John Gottman emphasizes the importance of going deeper. Marriage is not just about kids, having jobs, and making love. “The more shared meaning you can find, the deeper, richer, and more rewarding your relationship will be. Along the way, you’ll also be strengthening your marital friendship. This in turn will […]
Principle 6: Overcome Gridlock
“To navigate your way out of gridlock, you have to first understand that no matter how seemingly insignificant the issue, gridlock is a sign that you each have dreams for your life that the other isn’t aware of, hasn’t acknowledged or doesn’t respect.” (p.238) Obviously, an issue that keeps cropping up in a relationship is […]
Principle 5: Solve Your Solvable Problems
John Gottman divides marital conflict into solvable problems and perpetual problems. Perpetual problems will probably be with a couple in one way or another for the rest of their lives. Principle 5 specifically, deals with solvable problems, whereas Principle #6 will deal with overcoming gridlock, the perpetual issue. If you are going to be successful […]
2 Kinds of Marital Conflict
Let’s explore the 2 kinds of marital conflict that exist before going on to principles 5 and 6. Here, Gottman differentiates between two kinds of marital conflict. “We have found that all marital conflicts, ranging from mundane annoyances to all-out wars, really fall into one of two categories: either they can be resolved, or they […]
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