I started out exploring the Enneagram because in any relationship the more we know about ourselves and our partner, the more helpful it is. From The Enneagram Made Easy “The Enneagram is a study of the nine basic types of people. It explains why we behave the way we do, and it points to specific directions for individual growth.
Enneagram Roots
The roots of the Enneagram go back many centuries. Its exact origin is not known, but it is believed to have been taught orally in sacred Sufi brotherhoods in the Middle East. … The Enneagram teaches that early in life we learned to feel safe and to cope with our family situations and personal circumstances by developing a strategy based on our natural talents and abilities. By working with the Enneagram we develop a deeper understanding of others and learn alternatives to our own patterns of behaviour. We break free from worn-out coping strategies and begin to see life from a broader point of view.” (pp. 1-2)
Enneagram Nine
So here we are at the last of the nine types – The Peacemaker. Nines are motivated by the need to keep the peace, to merge with others, and to avoid conflict. Since they, especially, take on qualities of the other eight types, Nines have many variations in their personalities, from gentle and mild-mannered to independent and forceful.
What strikes me most about the nine I know the best is, it is hard for her to make choices, simply because she is able to see both the advantages and disadvantages of every option. The plus side is, once she makes up her mind, she is unstoppable.
Enneagram 9 Wings
The Wings of any Enneagram number can influence that particular type and thus make a big difference in a person’s personality. The wings for 9 are 8 and 1. Nines with a more developed eight wing tend to be more outgoing, assertive, and antiauthoritarian. Nines with a more developed one wing tend to be more orderly, critical, emotionally controlled and compliant.
Enneagram 9 Movement
The movement for nines is to six and three. When nines move toward the positive side of three they become more energetic, efficient, and productive. They narrow their focus and acquire more self-confidence and take more control of their lives. The positive move toward six helps them become more direct and outspoken, develop more loyalty, and become more practical and realistic.
Again from The Enneagram Made Easy things nines would never dream of doing:
- Complying immediately when their partner tells them to do an unpleasant job in an authoritarian manner
- Calling up an aggressive talk-show host and engaging in a screaming match
- Purposefully creating an uproar at a family gathering
- Announcing long ahead of time that they are going somewhere they know their partner won’t approve of, so the partner will have plenty of time to fight with them about it
- Telling everyone in a group they are angry and exactly what each person there did to make them so
- Saying “I don’t want to talk,” when a friend who desperately needs sympathy calls up
- Confronting someone face-to-face in an extremely critical manner
So there you have it – the nine different Enneagram types. I am certainly not the expert but the information has been helpful for me and in our relationship for the last 30 or so years. Most of what I have shared comes from The Enneagram Made Easy by Renee Baron and Elizabeth Wagele and from the online workshop I did with my wife Crystal. Check her website Journey to Inner Wisdom for upcoming online workshops in the fall.
