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John Sullivan Counselling

Marriage Counselling and Couples Therapy

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Enneagram Threes

Enneagram Threes are motivated by the need to be productive, achieve success, be recognized and avoid failure at all costs. They value competency and want to make the world a more efficient place. At their best, threes are able to make things happen, get things done and are willing to take on challenges. They are optimistic and upbeat and can motivate others. On the downside, because they think they can do anything, they can be workaholics with a need to create an image of success. They have to prove they are worthwhile (to themselves first and as well to others). By doing too much, they avoid emotions. They tend to compare themselves with others who do things better. It can be exhausting to always be “on”.

Jump to Six and Nine

The movement of the three is to six and nine. The positive move toward six allows them to become more vulnerable and more in touch with emotions, theirs and others, and be willing to spend more time with family and friends and not just work. The positive move toward nine allows a three to slow down and relax and see life from a broader point of view. What they are doing isn’t who they are; they are not their image.

Two and Four

The wings are two and four. Threes with a more developed two wing tend to be warmer, more encouraging, sociable, popular and seductive. Threes with a more developed four wing tend to be more introspective, sensitive, artistic, imaginative and pretentious.

From The Enneagram Made Easy: Things threes would never dream of doing:

  • Not making a list of goals for an entire week.
  • Saying nothing about their accomplishments at their high school reunion
  • Refraining from using the “seductive-eye technique” on the person they are interested in
  • Not taking over the meeting when it is being run inefficiently or ineffectively
  • Seeing a job that needs doing and not making a note of it
  • Spending one week just sitting at a silent meditation retreat.

There you have it you threes out there! Remember this is just the first kick at the can. Those of you who want more information please check out my wife, Crystal’s website, Journey to Inner Wisdom. All the best and next week I’ll take a look at the Enneagram four.

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About The Coach

That's how he likes to think of himself - a coach. John Sullivan won't fix your relationship. He gives you the tools to help you build permanent and lasting connections and a deeper intimacy with those in your life.

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