• Home
  • About
  • Services
    • Marriage Counselling
    • Couples Therapy
    • Relationship Coaching
    • Imago Therapy
  • Shop
  • FREE Master Class
  • Blog
  • Resources
  • Contact

John Sullivan Counselling

Marriage Counselling and Couples Therapy

P: 519-966-1408   C: 226-346-2503
FREE INITIAL ASSESSMENT

The Importance of Mirroring, Validation, and Empathy

Create Deeper Communication In Your Relationship

In the last blog, I talked about the importance of safety in a conscious relationship.  In Imago therapy the process we use to communicate safely is called Intentional Dialogue.

A few years ago my wife and I had our first scuba diving experience. Being able to breathe underwater for long periods of time was a completely new experience for both of us but we loved it! We had a great instructor and we were in a pool where we knew we were safe.

Think of the intentional dialogue process as you would scuba diving.

The processes become more important as we move into the deeper issues in our relationship but they ensure safety. There are three parts to the intentional dialogue process – mirroring, validation and empathy.

Mirroring

This is a reflective process that assures your partner that you have heard his/her perception and experience of the situation. Before you can respond, you need to mirror back what you have heard to his/her satisfaction. It is a flat mirror, no add, no subtract – “This is what you said. Did I get it?”

Validation

This is the recognition that the inner experience of the person you are speaking with makes sense from his or her perspective, that what he or she says is “true” for them and has its own logic. Validation does not mean that you agree with the other person. It simply means that you recognize and accept that the other person has also had an experience and that his or her point of view, while it may be different from yours, has equal validity. Remember that others are not you.

Empathy

This is the ability to communicate to another person that you hear and understand his or her feelings and that they make sense. You may not be experiencing the same feelings, but you must learn to accept and acknowledge that your partner is experiencing their feelings.

This week, take 10 minutes and practice on a non-issue in your relationship using the intentional dialogue process. Like the scuba diving lesson in the pool, make it safe and have fun!

We all get better with practice.


I invite you to schedule a FREE Skype consultation with me to see if Relationship Coaching is right for you!
You can contact me by phone at 519-966-1408 or email john@johnsullivancounselling.com

JOIN OUR FREE FACEBOOK GROUP

Filed Under: Blog

Relationship Issues

What Conscious Partners Know – 22 and 23

Continuing on with What Conscious Partners Know – Chapters 22 and 23 Connecting is sustained by intentionality, so they speak with a positive tone and use only appreciative or neutral words in all transactions, which helps them feel connected most of the time. The sign of a thriving relationship is how quickly partners engage in […]

Appreciations: Harville and Helen

I have said this before but I think it is worth repeating:  I truly believe the fastest way forward for any couple is to protect the Space-Between them. It is a real energy field, and you can tell, can’t you, when there is tension in the Space-Between? It is either tension-free or it is not. […]

What Conscious Partners Know: 20-21

Continuing with What Conscious Partners Know: 20-21 20 The energy in their relationship has a ripple effect in their social environment. 21 They know how to orient themselves toward maintaining connection with each other, while staying open to all parts of themselves, their personality, and their sense of individuality. 20: Relationship Energy out in Society […]

Older Articles

About The Coach

That's how he likes to think of himself - a coach. John Sullivan won't fix your relationship. He gives you the tools to help you build permanent and lasting connections and a deeper intimacy with those in your life.

Services

  • Marriage Counselling – Windsor
  • Couples Therapy – Windsor
  • Relationship Coaching – Windsor
  • Imago Therapy

Connect

           

Contact

P: 519-966-1408 C: 226-346-2503 john@johnsullivancounselling.com
Hours - Mon-Fri 9am to 8pm
Sat. 9am to 5pm

© Copyright 2016 John Sullivan Counselling · All Rights Reserved · Website by Oliver Marketing · Admin