The Relationship Wizard: Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt
Talk about stretching, wow. On our Soiree Lifestyle Series 2020 show last week Harville and Helen shared they are publishing a new book in April, a textbook really, entitled, Doing Imago Relationship Therapy in the Space Between. What they are attempting to do is to shift the whole notion of therapy to a more relational model. For years now, probably since the beginning of modern psychology, the focus in the mental health arena has been to help a person become a strong individual.
In that context, typically, when we think of a relationship, we think of you and you – two people. But what Harville and Helen are focusing on is the energy field between and around two people. This energy field is real; it is not just a metaphor. When I ask people to think about the Space Between, they all know when there is tension in the Space Between and when it is free-flowing and fun. We have sayings like: “You can cut the tension with a knife.”
The Study of Quantum Physics
Harville and Helen’s conclusions come from their study of quantum physics and quantum field theory, which give us another perspective on reality. Quantum physics holds that the reality of our universe – is simply energy and that everything is connected to everything else. If all of reality is simply energy, like light, you can’t stop the light from impacting the other person. It just does. So if I put negativity into the Space Between it affects my partner, it can’t not affect them.
“You Have Dethroned The Therapist”
Years ago Helen said to Harville: “You have dethroned the therapist.” Traditionally people would go to the therapist for healing. She is saying, no, the healing takes place between the partners, but they have to be aware and conscious and be willing to stretch to meet those needs of their partner that weren’t met growing up. And that healing takes place in the Space Between. By understanding the Space Between from a quantum physics point of view, it becomes an imperative and a responsibility to keep all negativity out of the Space Between – no blame, shame or criticism, and let it become the place of healing.