• Home
  • About
  • Services
    • Marriage Counselling
    • Couples Therapy
    • Relationship Coaching
    • Imago Therapy
  • Shop
  • FREE Master Class
  • Blog
  • Resources
  • Contact

John Sullivan Counselling

Marriage Counselling and Couples Therapy

P: 519-966-1408   C: 226-346-2503
FREE INITIAL ASSESSMENT

Safety

Imago Exercise #1: Create Safety

The number one priority in Imago Relationship Therapy is to create safety in the relationship. This is so that couples can communicate effectively. What I know for sure, (as Oprah would say), after working with couples for the last 25 years, is that if a person doesn’t feel safe in a relationship he/she will defend him/herself.

Let me take you back to the year 2001 – to 9/11. Shortly after that event, I attended the International Imago Convention being held in Atlanta, Georgia. As the Imago Institute was then in New York and many of the therapists had assisted at ground zero, everyone was affected by what had happened. It was a significant topic of conversation. Something very interesting happened, however, as the week wore on and therapists from all over the world shared their experiences working with couples. By the end of the week, someone expressed what we all intuitively understood. When couples attack each other in a significant relationship it has the same devastating effect as the attack on the Twin Towers.

It is much easier to look at the destruction in New York and express how horrifying it was. When couples attack each other, it is emotionally no different, and yet for some reason, our culture turns a blind eye. Check the movies, TV, the magazines at the checkout counter – we see people criticizing each other or otherwise in an attack mode everywhere. This just doesn’t work. If you attack me or criticize me, what can I do except defend myself? We need to find a better way to communicate.

TO DO

For this month I would encourage you to ask yourself when you have felt the safest with your partner. Identify those times, then take some time to describe them to your partner. Together work at creating more of these safe spaces together. And remember … a relationship can only thrive if both of you feel safe.

Filed Under: Blog

Relationship Issues

The Space Between: Part 3

Thank you for joining me in Part 3 of the Space Between Series. Here, we will explore Safe Conversation. Last week I suggested that the fastest way forward for any couple is to pay attention to the Space Between. It is a real energy field and you can tell can’t you, when there is tension? […]

The Space Between: Part 2

Last week in The Space Between: Part 1, I suggested that the fastest way forward for any couple is to really protect the Space Between. It is sacred ground, holy ground. No negativity in the Space Between. Negativity causes disconnect and from the quantum level up, what you want is connection. I went on to […]

The Space Between: Part 1

Here is Part 1 of a series I’m calling The Space Between. Last week we looked at creating a Relationship Vision as a good start to 2023. If your relationship worked out just the way you wanted it, what would it look like? And then committing to doing what was necessary to move toward that […]

Older Articles

About The Coach

That's how he likes to think of himself - a coach. John Sullivan won't fix your relationship. He gives you the tools to help you build permanent and lasting connections and a deeper intimacy with those in your life.

Services

  • Marriage Counselling – Windsor
  • Couples Therapy – Windsor
  • Relationship Coaching – Windsor
  • Imago Therapy

Connect

           

Contact

P: 519-966-1408 C: 226-346-2503 john@johnsullivancounselling.com
Hours - Mon-Fri 9am to 8pm
Sat. 9am to 5pm

© Copyright 2016 John Sullivan Counselling · All Rights Reserved · Website by Oliver Marketing · Admin