Over the next few weeks, I will share some strategies that I originally wrote about in my first book Create the Relationship of Your Dreams (2015). I accidentally came across the book in England when we were there celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary. A friend had the book, which I had completely forgotten about, but I think the information is still pretty good. So here goes. I’ll do a few each week.
30, 60, 90, 365
It takes (at least) thirty days to inculcate a new habit or break an old one, but another thirty or more days before the new habit gets in the groove and we actually begin to practice the new behaviour. It takes ninety days before it becomes easier, but a whole year before it becomes part of one’s culture. It is helpful information for clients to recall as they move toward the relationship of their dreams.
One Day at a Time
This saying from AA can be very helpful. Focus on the present, get through today and start again tomorrow.
Celebrate Often and Everything
Our whole family was in Edmonton, Alberta, recently (a few years ago now) on the occasion of my niece’s wedding. It was a great family time, and the actual wedding was a fun celebration of life, love, and family. One of the mantras of the groom’s family turned out to be: “The more you celebrate, the more you have to celebrate”.
I encourage couples to celebrate often and everything. One of the growing edges in my relationship with my partner is the ability to celebrate. In my family of origin, we remembered significant occasions, but the celebrations were muted, and of course, in the military school, there were no celebrations. My partner, on the other hand, celebrates extravagantly, not necessarily financially but physically and emotionally. It has been a stretch for me, but a great example of energies that were stunted as I grew up, blossoming in the relationship. As humans, it is natural to celebrate and I encourage my couples to do it often.
