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Many of you know I have been an Imago Relationship therapist for the last 34 years. Two years ago Harville and Helen, the creators of Imago, published a Clinician’s Guide titled Doing Imago Relationship Therapy in the Space-Between. It is a pretty intense volume. What I thought I would do for the next few weeks…
Today, we’ll focus on the key fundamentals of a great relationship and coaching which can help you achieve it. Last month I spoke of using the word coaching, rather than therapy, for what I do in the office. Therapy often has the negative connotation that there is something wrong with a person. Whereas, with coaching,…
Why coaching? Here is a perfect, but tragic, example where couples coaching is needed. A few weeks ago a fellow called asking about counselling. His wife had asked him numerous times to go to counselling. His macho (his words) response was: “I don’t need counselling, you go and get your s— together”. The day before…
Anything Negative by Appointment Only Think about the negative from your old brain point of view. If I don’t know when the attack is coming or where the arrow is coming from, for sure I will have my armour on. It is hard to be intimate when you are both clanking around the same house…
Amplify the Positives On Day 1, I introduced the first holiday relationship tip in this series, the importance of safety in any committed relationship. One way to increase safety is to increase pleasure. Now you would think that is a fairly obvious equation, safety equals pleasure, but there is a part of our culture that…
Safety = Pleasure seems like a fairly obvious equation but there is a part of our culture that distrusts if things are too good. We have sayings like, it is too good to be true, or wait for the next shoe to drop, or knock on wood. NO, the more you pleasure your partner, the…
While zero negativity in the Space Between is the fastest way forward, it seems to be the most difficult piece of the puzzle for couples to master. Why? I think because to a large extent, the negativity is unconscious. If a couple has been together for 5 or 10 years, they probably have built up…
On Sept. 10 I had my left hip replaced at Humber River Hospital in Toronto, using the direct anterior approach. I was operated on at 8:00 AM, woke up in recovery at 9:20 and was released at 12:00. I was back home in Windsor at 400 PM that same day. My mother 20 years ago,…