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We have all heard the statement: It’s not what you say but how you say it, that is important and for sure that is true. The tone of voice or the loudness we use with our partner can make a difference. In this chapter, however, Helen is challenging us to explore how we talk to…
In this chapter, I will help personalize your relationship playbook. As a coach, whether it was hockey or football, I was privy to many different playbooks, but I always personalized them for our team. Any adaptions we made might be either to take advantage of the talent I had available at different positions or to…
Coming up to Valentine’s Day – the tools are available in today’s world to have the relationship of your dreams. So far we have seen the importance of safety. Your old reptilian brain has a 500 million-year track record, you are not going to change it. If you don’t feel safe you will protect yourself….
a What does the Safe Conversation Dialogue have to do with our brains? Lots, apparently! How? It can ”contribute to a more relaxed and healthier brain,” (p.211). That statement makes a lot of sense to me. For years I taught Stress Management courses at St. Clair College. Stress is an evolutionary response to danger. If…
The last chapter in this book section deals with using safe conversations at work. Safe Conversations Process in the Workplace The authors explain: “Many businesses recognize that healthy relationships and a sense of safety in employee communications are critical to success. Yet most businesses don’t know how to achieve this.” (p. 189) They conclude: “By…
In Chapter 8, we will explore how Safe Conversations Work in Every Aspect of Life. The authors simply offer examples from around the world, of Safe Conversation process working in several situations and settings. One example was a coach with an alcoholic client. Two examples of a makeup artist using it at a photo shoot. Safe…
To be quite honest, the concept of the Space-Between has been the most helpful insight for my work with clients in the past 5 or so years. Stewarding the Space-Between, I now believe, is the fastest way forward for any couple. Negativity in the Space-Between causes disconnect and what couples want is connection. When the…
Over time, the authors realized the practice of affirmations was missing from the Safe Conversation Process. They had the Safe Conversation dialogue in place, along with empathy with everyone and zero negativity. “But as we interviewed clients about how the Safe conversation process was working for them, we learned that it was not enough to…
“Finding a pathway to be seen, heard, and valued and to see, hear, and value others involves learning and practicing four skills.” (p.39) The four skills of the Safe Conversations Process include: The Safe Conversation Dialogue, Empathy with everyone, Zero Negativity, and Affirmations. Last week I looked at the Safe Conversations Dialogue. This week let’s…
Today we explore Chapter 2: The Solution of How to Talk with Anyone about Anything. This is the newest book by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt. If feeling disconnected is one part of the problem and objection to difference is the other, what is the solution? Seeing, listening, and valuing the other person is…