Last month I commented on the first two sections of Lakhiani’s book (that was as far as I had read at that point. lol) In Part I, Lakhiani examines the world around us for what it really is and concludes that some of its rules and patterns have outlived their expiration date. At this level, “you are being controlled and shaped by the world around you. Life happens TO you.” In Part II as we become more aware, we realize we do have choices which can bring us to full aliveness. “Your models of reality and your systems for living are the two components that determine who you become. Live happens as you CHOOSE.”
Let’s take a look at Parts III and IV. In Part III, Lakhiani examines alternate ideas of what it is to be human – to be happy and to pursue goals that will ultimately lead to a fulfilling life. The piece I took away from Part III was his insistence on being happy now while at the same time creating a vision for the future, but not linking my happiness to the attainment of that future goal, whatever that is (i.e. I’ll be happy when I get the job, degree, life partner, etc.). The key is to be happy now. He shares the idea of another entrepreneurial coach, Dan Sullivan. Most of us look at where we are and realize there is a gap between where we are and where we want to be (a future goal). The problem is, we tell ourselves we will be happy when we reach that target, but he likens it to the horizon; it is always in front of us and we can never quite catch it. Dan Sullivan suggests to look backward – at the gap between where we are now and where we have come from and to appreciate how far we have come. Lakhiani characterizes this level as life happening FROM you.
Sometimes my clients can be discouraged because on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the best, they might judge their relationship to be at a 6 or 7, whereas they would like to be at a 9 or 10. But if they started at a 2/3, moving from a 2 to a 6 is a 200% improvement, which is something they can be very happy about right now. Again not tying their happiness to the attainment of the 9 or 10 which is still in the future.
Part IV takes all the information from the first 3 sections of the book and pushes us further. “Extraordinary minds are motivated by a quest or calling – a drive to create some positive change in the world.” “At this level, you feel secure and confident in your own abilities and strengths. You are unfuckwithable (this word showed up on the internet circa 2015. Definition: When you’re truly at peace and in touch with yourself. Nothing anyone says or does bothers you and no negativity can touch you.) At the same time, you start to actually change the world around you so that you contribute to the growth and expansion of other human beings. You decide that you have a greater purpose and role to play, and you decide to influence the world in a positive way. You feel a calling, a push to make the world a better place. Life happens THROUGH you.” We know we can’t control what others do, but we can control how we react to others. I liked his challenge to leave a dent in the universe.
He quotes Mirisa Peer from her speech at A-Fest 2014 on “The Biggest Disease Afflicting Humanity: I Am Not Enough”. “Knowing that you are enough takes you from having a hole in your heart to being whole-hearted – and with your heart whole, you will have so much more to give to life, love, yourself, and the planet.”
The book ends with an Appendix – Tools for the Journey and an encouragement to connect with the author and other readers via a unique online experience.
A challenging read!!