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John Sullivan Counselling

Marriage Counselling and Couples Therapy

P: 519-966-1408   C: 226-346-2503
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The Wellness Journey: Pain Island to Pleasure Island

When couples come into my office, generally things are not going very well. I propose they take a trip with me. The Wellness Journey moves them from where they are, which is often on Pain Island, to where they want to be, which is on Pleasure Island. On Pain Island couples often feel or say negative things. Things you might feel are not feeling heard, distance from one another, disillusionment, sadness, anger, resentment and frustration. Perhaps you will even add a few words of your own. They know what they had at one time, but are now stuck in counter-productive behaviours and seem unable, on their own, to escape the negative recurring cycles.

What You Feel on Pleasure Island

The Wellness Journey takes them to Pleasure Island. On Pleasure Island couples feel: connected, loved, heard and accepted for who they are. And again you can add your own words, but it is a relaxed, fun place to be where you can just hang out. There are no arrows coming.

I become their coach. I prefer coach to therapist simply because the connotation around therapy is that there is something wrong with a person. Whereas, when coaching, there is typically nothing wrong with my players, but sometimes what they are doing isn’t working as well as they would like. The same is true of relationships. Now you can keep doing what you are doing, or, over the next six weeks, I will be unpacking how you can get to you where you want to be – on Pleasure Island.

Rate Your Relationship

So, if you had to rate your relationship, right now, on a scale of 1 – 10, 10 being the best and 1 not so good, where would you put yourselves? On Pleasure Island couples are at a 9 or 10 all the time. The Wellness Journey is designed to teach you the necessary skills to get there and keep you there. Stay tuned – next time we will look at the three intermediate steps of that journey.

Filed Under: Blog

Relationship Issues

Shifting Your Relationship Vision to Agenda

One of the first things I ask couples to do when they come to the office is to create a Relationship Vision. If their relationship worked out just the way they wanted, what would it look like? Even couples who are conflicted know what they want. I have each partner write statements beginning with we, […]

Grief is Like Carrying a Stone in Your Pocket

Four weeks ago our niece, age 37, died suddenly of a massive heart attack. Obviously it has been a difficult month. My daughter Clare read this piece at the service and I thought I would share it for any of you who might also be going through a period of grief. I hope it can […]

Automated Program

Remember a few months ago I said, in fact, I think I have probably said it more than once, “I’ve never set a goal I didn’t reach if I set it enough times”. Well, I think I finally made it with the automated program. Relationship Coach As most of you know, I have been a […]

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About The Coach

That's how he likes to think of himself - a coach. John Sullivan won't fix your relationship. He gives you the tools to help you build permanent and lasting connections and a deeper intimacy with those in your life.

Services

  • Marriage Counselling – Windsor
  • Couples Therapy – Windsor
  • Relationship Coaching – Windsor
  • Imago Therapy

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Contact

P: 519-966-1408 C: 226-346-2503 john@johnsullivancounselling.com
Hours - Mon-Fri 9am to 8pm
Sat. 9am to 5pm

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