When couples come into my office, generally things are not going very well. I propose they take a trip with me. The Wellness Journey moves them from where they are, which is often on Pain Island, to where they want to be, which is on Pleasure Island. On Pain Island couples often feel or say: “I don’t feel heard, we are distant from each other, I am disillusioned or sad and/or angry, or resentful and frustrated”. And you might add a few words of your own. They know what they had at one time, but are now stuck in counter-productive behaviours and seem unable, on their own, to escape the negative recurring cycles.
The Wellness Journey takes them to Pleasure Island. On Pleasure Island couples feel: connected, loved, heard and accepted for who they are. And again you can add your own words, but it is a relaxed, fun place to be where you can just hang out. There are no arrows coming.
I become their coach. I prefer coach to therapist simply because the connotation around therapy is that there is something wrong with a person. Whereas, when coaching, there is typically nothing wrong with my players, but sometimes what they are doing isn’t working as well as they would like. The same is true of relationships. Now you can keep doing what you are doing, or, over the next six weeks, I will be unpacking how you can get to you where you want to be – on Pleasure Island.
So, if you had to rate your relationship, right now, on a scale of 1 – 10, 10 being the best and 1 not so good, where would you put yourselves? On Pleasure Island couples are at a 9 or 10 all the time. The Wellness Journey is designed to teach you the skills you need to get there and keep you there. Stay tuned – next time we will look at the three intermediate steps of that journey.