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Enneagram Fives are the Observer, the Thinker. They are motivated by the need to know and understand everything, to be self-sufficient, and to avoid looking foolish. Enneagram fives, six, and sevens tend to live in their heads, whereas, in contrast, eights, nines, and ones primarily operate out of their body, while twos, threes, and fours…

Enneagram Fours are motivated by the need to experience their feelings and to be understood; to search for the meaning in life, and to avoid being ordinary. They need to feel special. To prove they are special they tend to come across as dramatic; it is all about me. Fours can get stuck in melancholy…

Enneagram Threes are motivated by the need to be productive, achieve success, be recognized and avoid failure at all costs. They value competency and want to make the world a more efficient place. At their best, threes are able to make things happen, get things done and are willing to take on challenges. They are…

Twos are motivated by the need to be loved and valued and to express positive feelings toward others. The Helper often is in the helping professions because they tune into how others are feeling and know what others need to make their lives better. They want the world to be a more caring place. The down…

Are you a perfectionist or reformer? The Enneagram suggests that there are 9 basic human types. The different types are characterized by the numbers 1-9 as points on a circle. As humans, we all participate in all the types. You can start to figure out your type as the  number “where the traffic is heaviest”….

I often tell couples that half of what I do in the office is to help them become more conscious – more aware, and while much of what we do is couple’s stuff, some of it is individual stuff. We are all bent out of shape to some degree or other and part of my…

One of the first things I ask couples to do when they come to the office is to create a Relationship Vision. If their relationship worked out just the way they wanted, what would it look like? Even couples who are conflicted know what they want. I have each partner write statements beginning with we,…

Four weeks ago our niece, age 37, died suddenly of a massive heart attack. Obviously it has been a difficult month. My daughter Clare read this piece at the service and I thought I would share it for any of you who might also be going through a period of grief. I hope it can…

Remember a few months ago I said, in fact, I think I have probably said it more than once, “I’ve never set a goal I didn’t reach if I set it enough times”. Well, I think I finally made it with the automated program. Relationship Coach As most of you know, I have been a…

I have come across this research before on finding the key to happiness and health, and thought I would pass it on. The Grant and Glueck Study of Adult Development is a longitudinal study that has been following two groups of men over the last 80 years. This is to identify the psychosocial predictors of…