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John Sullivan Counselling

Marriage Counselling and Couples Therapy

P: 519-966-1408   C: 226-346-2503
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What Conscious Partners Know: 20-21

Continuing with What Conscious Partners Know: 20-21

20 The energy in their relationship has a ripple effect in their social environment.

21 They know how to orient themselves toward maintaining connection with each other, while staying open to all parts of themselves, their personality, and their sense of individuality.

20: Relationship Energy out in Society

  1. The energy in their relationship has a ripple effect in their social environment.

When I wrote the book Dream Relationship How to Make the Most of Available Tools for Your Happily-Ever-After, as part of the research, I interviewed just under 100 business owners, professionals, entrepreneurs and employers here in Windsor and the surrounding area about the impact of relationships on their businesses, employees, customers and clients. Here is what I wrote at that time:

Almost without exception, they all confirmed what common sense would dictate: If one’s personal relationship is off-center, the repercussions reverberate everywhere. The common refrain was that the relationship at home has a direct impact on the work environment. No man is an island, and whether positive or negative, what we bring to the workplace matters. 

The employers I interviewed were consistent in their responses. Their experience was that if the relationship at home was struggling it made everything more difficult, whereas if the relationship was flourishing, things went much more smoothly. Other common refrains included:

  • Relationships affect everything
  • Relationships are everything
  • Absolutely, there is a snowball effect, and the effects show up everywhere
  • 100% relationships affect health
  • There is a ‘trickle-down’ effect
  • Relationships are one of the cornerstones of the workplace; when positive, it’s helpful everywhere
  • Relationships affect the children

21: Individuality vs. Maintaining Connection

  1. They know how to orient themselves toward maintaining connection with each other while staying open to all parts of themselves, their personality, and their sense of individuality. 

Again, every couple has to figure this one out. I think it goes back to #13 :“They need to differentiate so they can move from symbiosis to connecting.” I could live without my wife, and she certainly could live very well without me. We don’t need each other, but we have chosen to go in the same direction together.

Therefore, we know it is important to integrate activities that help us maintain connection with each other, while at the same time striving to be the best person we can be – physically, mentally, and spiritually.  The flip side of that coin is the importance of encouraging and supporting my partner to be the best she can be. 

 

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: conscious partners, dream relationship, happily ever after, imago relationship therapy, partner, partners, relationship, relationships, social environment

Relationship Issues

Truth #4 (cont.): Being Present for Each Other Heals the Past

From Making Marriage Simple Truth #4 (continued) Being Present for Each Other Heals the Past  by Helen In the first part of this chapter Helen shared how in the Imago system we seem to be attracted to a partner in an adult intimate relationship that replays the same challenges we had as kids. Our task […]

Truth #4: Being Present for Each Other Heals the Past

From the book Making Marriage Simple, here is Truth #4: Being Present for Each Other Heals the Past  by Helen   The Universal Mystery Helen writes: “Now, we get to the heart of what seems to be part of the universal mystery. There is an amazing thing that happens when we transform the energy of […]

Truth #3: Conflict is Growth Trying to Happen

From Making Marriage Simple by Harville Hendrix Harville begins this chapter with: “Hopefully by now you realize that the conflict you’re experiencing is not only normal, but inevitable and even valuable. Don’t try to avoid it. Don’t try to deny it. Don’t run away from it, or wish it away. Stay with it, and you’ll […]

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About The Coach

That's how he likes to think of himself - a coach. John Sullivan won't fix your relationship. He gives you the tools to help you build permanent and lasting connections and a deeper intimacy with those in your life.

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