Let’s explore the 2 kinds of marital conflict that exist before going on to principles 5 and 6. Here, Gottman differentiates between two kinds of marital conflict. “We have found that all marital conflicts, ranging from mundane annoyances to all-out wars, really fall into one of two categories: either they can be resolved, or they […]
Principle 4: Let Your Partner Influence You
Let’s continue with Principle 4: Partner Influence. Studies show that “the happiest, most stable marriages, in the long run, were those in which the husband did not resist sharing power and decision-making with the wife. When the couples disagreed, these husbands actively searched for common ground rather than insisting on getting their way.” (pp.116/7) While […]
Principle 3: Turn Toward Each Other Instead of Away
The point Gottman is stressing in Principle 3 is that couples who engage in lots of what might be called small, humdrum actions of connection, tend to remain happy. Actions as simple as chatting during lunch or watching the news together count. Real-life romance “is kept alive each time you let your spouse know he […]
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