John Gottman divides marital conflict into solvable problems and perpetual problems. Perpetual problems will probably be with a couple in one way or another for the rest of their lives. Principle 5 specifically, deals with solvable problems, whereas Principle #6 will deal with overcoming gridlock, the perpetual issue. If you are going to be successful […]
2 Kinds of Marital Conflict
Let’s explore the 2 kinds of marital conflict that exist before going on to principles 5 and 6. Here, Gottman differentiates between two kinds of marital conflict. “We have found that all marital conflicts, ranging from mundane annoyances to all-out wars, really fall into one of two categories: either they can be resolved, or they […]
Principle 4: Let Your Partner Influence You
Let’s continue with Principle 4: Partner Influence. Studies show that “the happiest, most stable marriages, in the long run, were those in which the husband did not resist sharing power and decision-making with the wife. When the couples disagreed, these husbands actively searched for common ground rather than insisting on getting their way.” (pp.116/7) While […]
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