• Home
  • About
  • Services
    • Marriage Counselling
    • Couples Therapy
    • Relationship Coaching
    • Imago Therapy
  • Shop
  • FREE Master Class
  • Blog
  • Resources
  • Contact

John Sullivan Counselling

Marriage Counselling and Couples Therapy

P: 519-966-1408   C: 226-346-2503
FREE INITIAL ASSESSMENT

Enneagram 9: The Peacemaker

We arrive today at Enneagram 9. I started out exploring the Enneagram because in any relationship the more we know about ourselves and our partner, the more helpful it is. From The Enneagram Made Easy:

“The Enneagram is a study of the nine basic types of people. It explains why we behave the way we do, and it points to specific directions for individual growth. The Enneagram roots go back many centuries. The exact origin is not known but is believed to have been taught orally in sacred Sufi brotherhoods in the Middle East. … The Enneagram teaches that early in life we learned to feel safe and to cope with our family situations and personal circumstances by developing a strategy based on our natural talents and abilities.

By working with the Enneagram we develop a deeper understanding of others and learn alternatives to our own patterns of behaviour. We break free from worn-out coping strategies and begin to see life from a broader point of view.” (pp. 1-2)

Enneagram 9: The Peacemaker

So here we are at the last of the 9 types – Enneagram: The Peacemaker. The word peacemaker is defined as “a person who brings about peace, especially by reconciling adversaries.” Nines motivation is a need to have inner stability and peace of mind. They fear separation or conflict the most. With that being said, nines absolutely despise conflict. Thus, they will do what they need to in order to avoid experiencing it. They mediate conflict, keep others calm in stressful situations, and just want everyone to get along. Since they, especially, take on qualities of the other eight types, nines have many variations in their personalities, from gentle and mild-mannered to independent and forceful. 

What strikes me most about the nine I know the best is, it is hard for her to make choices, simply because she is able to see both the advantages and disadvantages of every option. The plus side, is, once she makes up her mind, she is unstoppable. 

Enneagram 9 Wings

The Wings of any Enneagram number can influence that particular type and thus make a big difference in a person’s personality. The wings for 9 are 8 and 1. Nines with a more developed eight-wing tend to be more outgoing, assertive, and antiauthoritarian. Nines with a more developed one wing tend to be more orderly, critical, emotionally controlled, and compliant. 

Movement of Enneagram 9

The movement for nines is to six and three. When nines move toward the positive side of three they become more energetic, efficient, and productive. They narrow their focus and acquire more self-confidence and take more control of their lives. The positive move toward six helps them become more direct and outspoken, develop more loyalty, and become more practical and realistic. 

So there you have it – the nine different Enneagram types. I am certainly not an expert but I do know the information has been helpful for me and in our relationship over the last 30 or so years. If you want more information, one place to look is my wife Crystal’s website Journey to Inner Wisdom. She will host some Enneagram online workshops in the fall. Check it out. 

 

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: enneagram, enneagram 9, peacemaker

Relationship Issues

The Space Between: Quantum Field Theory

Let me say at the outset, that I won’t do justice to the complexities explored in this chapter on quantum physics and quantum field theory.  It is above my pay grade. Although, I do know that more and more, as a coach, I urge couples to pay closer attention to The Space Between.  The authors […]

The Nonnegotiable Conditions For Restoring & Sustaining Connecting

So what are the nonnegotiable conditions for restoring and sustaining connecting?  First, “The basic tenet of Imago is: Being present and connecting through relationship is ultimately what transforms both partners, not attempting to change themselves or their partner as separate individuals.”  (p.10) This statement sums up the shift in therapy from the Newtonian worldview to […]

Metatheory as Perspective

So what is the lens, the metatheory, the perspective, through which we, as Imago therapists, look at our couples? The authors go into a fairly lengthy historical analysis of human suffering and its mitigation.  “In all the ages of human speculation on our fate, suffering itself (as a phenomenal experience) has been identified as anxiety, […]

Older Articles

About The Coach

That's how he likes to think of himself - a coach. John Sullivan won't fix your relationship. He gives you the tools to help you build permanent and lasting connections and a deeper intimacy with those in your life.

Services

  • Marriage Counselling – Windsor
  • Couples Therapy – Windsor
  • Relationship Coaching – Windsor
  • Imago Therapy

Connect

           

Contact

P: 519-966-1408 C: 226-346-2503 john@johnsullivancounselling.com
Hours - Mon-Fri 9am to 8pm
Sat. 9am to 5pm

© Copyright 2016 John Sullivan Counselling · All Rights Reserved · Website by Oliver Marketing · Admin