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John Sullivan Counselling

Marriage Counselling and Couples Therapy

P: 519-966-1408   C: 226-346-2503
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Holiday Relationship Tip 3

The 12 days of Christmas Relationship Tips

3. The Sacred Space Between

Typically we think of a relationship as two people, you and you, but what’s between you is a sacred space. My challenge to you is to start thinking of your relationship as the two of you, plus the space between you. It is a real energy field, isn’t it? And you can tell when there is tension in that energy field, it is either tense or not tense, and there is no middle ground. 

Quantum physics and quantum theory tells us that our whole universe is mainly energy and that it is all connected, it is all in a relationship – atom to atom, molecule to molecule, planet to planet, galaxy to galaxy. Your relationship is a microcosm of the vast macrocosm. If you put negativity into that space between it causes disconnect whereas in reality what you really want is to connect.

The Sacred Space Between

I believe the fastest way forward for any couple is to pay attention to the space between. It is a holy ground, a sacred space. You can’t keep putting negativity into the space between as the negativity causes a disconnect. And if the space between becomes too negative then people start to avoid it. Why would I go into a toxic space?

I think when people fall in love the space between is pretty positive – it is new, exciting, fun, and romantic. Then it is small things – a criticism, rolling the eyes, walking away, shutting down, and over time the space between becomes more negative, and like I said, if it becomes too negative, then people start to avoid it. 

Relationship tip 3

Zero negativity in the Space Between – it is holy ground, sacred space. Check with your partner at the end of the day – did either of you experience negativity? More on this tomorrow.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Relationship Issues

Truth 8: Your Brain Has a Mind of Its Own

Moving on to Truth 8 Brain science tells us “that the brain can be divided into two parts: the lower brain, which we call the Crocodile, and the higher brain, which we call the Owl. The lower brain is often referred to as the reptilian center of the brain. Like the Crocodile, it is highly […]

Truth 7: Negativity is a Wish in Disguise

We’ve reached Truth 7 in the book, Negativity is a Wish in Disguise. Harville, in this chapter, is dealing with frustrations, which tend to be the hardest piece of the Imago system. Why? Typically, what frustrates your partner is difficult for you to change because often it is your weak suit. For example, way back, […]

Truth 6 (cont.): Negativity is Invisible Abuse

Continuing with Truth #6: Negativity is Invisible Abuse. Last week Helen suggested that there are three key ways we can unknowingly slip into negativity. They are: Critical thinking, Competition, Constructive criticism. So how do you stop being negative if it is habitual? Harville and Helen’s solution for themselves was pretty straightforward. How to Stop Being Negative […]

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About The Coach

That's how he likes to think of himself - a coach. John Sullivan won't fix your relationship. He gives you the tools to help you build permanent and lasting connections and a deeper intimacy with those in your life.

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  • Marriage Counselling – Windsor
  • Couples Therapy – Windsor
  • Relationship Coaching – Windsor
  • Imago Therapy

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