The last chapter in this book section deals with using safe conversations at work.
Safe Conversations Process in the Workplace
The authors explain:
“Many businesses recognize that healthy relationships and a sense of safety in employee communications are critical to success. Yet most businesses don’t know how to achieve this.” (p. 189)
They conclude: “By teaching people to talk without criticism, listen without judgment, and connect beyond differences, our Safe Conversation Dialogue can help build a new culture in the corporate workplace. Happy employees in a healthy environment also improve the economic bottom line with increased profits.” (p. 190)
Safe Conversations at Work Example
I will quote a rather lengthy example of the importance of the Safe Conversation process in empowering relationships in the corporate world. Although the person sharing his insights “has not been trained in our Safe Conversations process, yet he has instinctively developed a very similar approach for leading teams in his corporation. … He is an advocate of servant leadership, which is marked by openness and humility.” (p.200)
The insights:
“Throughout my career, I have learned a great deal about leadership in a corporate environment by observing both good and bad examples. On the negative side, I have experienced situations where I did not feel comfortable sharing my thoughts and opinions because of the environment set by leadership.
I specifically recall a senior leader asking me to participate in a governing body alongside many people I’d had relationships with for years. We were provided the intent and goal of the group and told to ‘make it happen’. There was no input, no feedback, no defined strategy. We just had to make it happen.
The Results
This resulted in a toxic and tense environment in which certain dominators controlled the discussions and interactions. They made the decisions and there was very little collaborative discussion. The leadership of this group enabled this dictatorship. This group included some very bright and experienced individuals, but because it lacked inclusiveness, their efforts were a waste of time and money.
Work Dominators
I witnessed dominators berating other team members who were, in fact, their peers, simply for asking questions or making suggestions within the group. Meetings became flogging sessions for those whose ideas differed from the dominators. There was no psychological safety. This group’s intent and goals were not met but disbanded due to overwhelmingly negative feedback about the lack of inclusiveness.
On the positive side, my experience with dominators on teams has informed my own leadership methods. My first course of action, when leading any team, is to establish one-on-one relationships with each team member so that I get to know them.
Understanding Work Dominators
We share our personal backgrounds and interests as well as our goals and bucket lists. This really sets the tone, and it helps me understand their motivations and aspirations, as well as how I can best lead and coach them. In subsequent meetings, I open with questions like ‘How are things at home?’ or ‘How was your daughter’s recital?’ The goal is to relate personally and authentically before we talk about work, to create a bond built on empathy rather than relating on a transactional level based on an approach that says, ‘What can you do for me?’
Building sound relationships and demonstrating your openness to being vulnerable with those you lead, or coach, goes a long way. We are all human and we all have faults and make mistakes. Through my leadership journey, I have learned that it humanizes my relationship with my team members if I am open and willing to be vulnerable, sharing my own faults, mistakes, and what I’ve learned from them.
Building and Rebuilding Teams
I have had the opportunity to build or rebuild teams, some of which were underperforming because of these dominating individuals shutting out others. Developing an atmosphere of inclusiveness, in which all team members are instilled with a sense of belonging and feel valued, is a challenge all leaders face in the corporate world. It is becoming even more challenging in remote work environments where we get very little face-to-face interactions among team members and those we lead.
Safe Conversations Process in the workplace: Relationship Building
I have found relationship building only happens if leadership enables it by supporting and practicing inclusion and diversity. This requires leaders to be active, unbiased, and intentional listeners with each person on their teams.
Leaders must do more than ‘hear’, but connect and provide total attention (no distractions) acknowledging what they are hearing. Reiterating or summarizing what team members say demonstrates that their input has been received and registered.
Intentional Listening and Mirroring
Active, intentional listening and mirroring must be backed up by action, not just lip service. Leaders must provide support to their team members by responding to their input with behaviours. This is critical because it establishes the all-important trust factor. People will not share or speak up if they do not trust the environment in which they work. It’s all about relationships with the leader and with peers.
I believe leaders need to create and foster an environment where every voice is heard without disruption. My experience is that team members who feel supported and valued – and whose diversity of thought is welcomed – become very effective and efficient. This takes effort and time to instill and uphold.
Everyone in the room should be allowed to speak for an equal amount of time without interruption. This sets expectations and ensures the dominators do not control team interactions. I’ve found that dominators become frustrated and will leave if they aren’t allowed to always control the agenda.
Yet, when I coached and fostered equal time for all in meetings, I’ve also had dominators thank me for opening their eyes to the value of diverse voices. Teams that do not build relationships among all members do not flourish and often fail to meet goals because of all the competing individual agendas at play.
My Expectations
I expect my team members to take risks, innovate, make mistakes, learn from them, and improve. At the same time, I want them to feel safe enough to share their mistakes and failures and what they have learned with me and even with the team. The team environment should allow this ‘psychological safety’ of sharing thoughts, ideas, and even failures among all team members. The entire team benefits when one team member learns from failure and feels safe enough to share the experience.” (pp. 197-200)
Next week begins the 4th section of the book Chapter 11 Healthy Brains.
