The last two truths in their book Making Marriage Simple are: #4 Marriage isn’t a disease to be treated. It’s the cure and #5 Relationship Education must be supported and made available to everyone.
Truth #4 Marriage Isn’t a Disease to Be Treated – It’s the Cure
Their point here is that in any relationship there are challenges at times. That doesn’t mean the relationship – or the institution of marriage itself – is flawed. It just means we are human. Adler’s great saying: Have the Courage to be Imperfect, kicks in here. My goal in the office is to make sure that a couple is on the same page so that when life does throw them challenges, which it will, whether those challenges be health issues, in-laws, parents, kids, jobs, etc. they can better handle them.
The authors state:
“Healthy marriages are the ultimate upstream prevention that can eradicate so much of the downriver clean up done each day. As a national and global culture, we need to promote the art of creating healthy marriages.
Let’s prioritize it, let’s fund it, let’s nurture it.” (p. 143-144)
Which leads to truth #5
Truth #5 Relationship Education Must Be Supported and Made Available to Everyone
Three things they don’t teach well in school are parenting, relationships, and financing. All pretty important aspects of adult life. The main reason I do these blogs every week is simply relationship education. As I say on my business card: The tools are available in today’s world to have the relationship of your dreams. I truly believe that, but not everyone has access to the information I possess. The authors make the point that to drive a car you have to read a book and pass a test, but to get a marriage license, you just have to have enough money to buy it. They contend:
“It takes knowledge and commitment to create a healthy relationship. For this to happen, the whole culture needs to be supportive. …
We believe so strongly in this vision that we, along with other leading relationship experts, have started organizing to make it happen. Our goals are twofold:
- To launch a global movement to raise public consciousness about the essential connection between healthy relationships and a healthy society.
- To establish the support of healthy relationships as a primary social value.” (p.145-146)
You’re Part of the Relationship Revolution
The fact that you are listening to my blogs, or have bought their book, means that you are already part of the Relationship Revolution. Please continue doing what you are doing, which is recognizing the importance of your relationship and caring for it and each other. You can also share the book and/or this information with your family and friends.
“For this Relationship Revolution to happen … we have to have honest conversations, be real about how hard marriage can get, and also believe in the breakthroughs that are possible.” (p.148) Part of any wedding present we give to couples is a copy of Harville and Helen’s book Getting the Love You Want and more recently, a copy of my book Dream Relationship.
My New Book: The Relationship Coach
Just as a heads up, I have written a new book, The Relationship Coach Your Playbook for unlocking the combination to a successful relationship, which I will be examining in the following weeks. I use the analogy of a combination lock and a team’s playbook. If you know the combination to a lock it is much easier to open it, and I want all the players on my teams using the same playbook. The Space-Between, Safety, the Safe Conversation Process, and some theory about Imago Relationship Therapy are the key pieces to create the relationship of your dreams.
As Harville and Helen state: “Healthy marriages lead to healthy homes, which lead to a healthy society. … You have the power to create the marriage of your dreams. And when you do, you also contribute to creating a new world in which we all can live long and prosper.” (p.149)
All the best as you move forward in your relationship.
John
