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John Sullivan Counselling

Marriage Counselling and Couples Therapy

P: 519-966-1408   C: 226-346-2503
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2 Possible Solutions for Relationship Issues

Here, we will explore 2 possible solutions for relationship issues. If the past does affect the present as Imago theory contends, then especially at the start, you are probably going to be partnered with someone who will trigger old negative feelings, often unintentionally  (like the feeling of “being dismissed”). Therefore, you will need to come up with solutions so these same feelings don’t get triggered again, or if they do, the results are minimized. There are two suggestions I have found helpful for couples.

2 Possible Solutions for Relationship Issues

  1. In a more conscious relationship, even if my partner does something I deem negative, what can I do to get a different outcome?  This is not necessarily easy, but it is possible. Suppose, for example, my partner does something that in the past would take us down the rabbit hole, and I don’t want to go there, what can I do to get a different outcome?
  2. You could tell your partner what would be more helpful for you, the next time a similar situation crops up. If you could do A, B, or C, that would be more helpful for me. And your partner could then ask you to do X, Y or Z in the same situation. The key here is that the change you are asking for, is not for the next 10 years, BUT FOR THE NEXT WEEK OR TWO. If it doesn’t work, throw it out and try something else, but try something different.

Becoming More Conscious

The critical factor here is becoming more conscious, more aware.  As couples become more conscious, they can then choose to change counter-productive behaviours into more productive ones. However, in order for change to occur, couples need to learn to talk with their partners. Talk about anything, but in a safe manner. Next week we will look at the absolute importance of safety in an intimate relationship. I am not talking about just physical safety which is a given, but emotional and psychological safety.

Filed Under: Blog

Relationship Issues

Coaching: Fundamentals of a Great Relationship

Today, we’ll focus on the key fundamentals of a great relationship and coaching which can help you achieve it. Last month I spoke of using the word coaching, rather than therapy, for what I do in the office. Therapy often has the negative connotation that there is something wrong with a person. Whereas, with coaching, […]

Coaching

Why coaching? Here is a perfect, but tragic, example where couples coaching is needed. A few weeks ago a fellow called asking about counselling. His wife had asked him numerous times to go to counselling. His macho (his words) response was: “I don’t need counselling, you go and get your s— together”. The day before […]

Enneagram 7: The Adventurer or Enthusiast

Enneagram 7 is the most enthusiastic and optimistic type on the Enneagram. Motivated by the need for happiness and planning enjoyable activities, contributing to the world, and avoiding suffering and pain. Sevens can’t get enough out of life and are always ready to move on to the next best thing. Enneagram 7’s biggest fear is […]

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About The Coach

That's how he likes to think of himself - a coach. John Sullivan won't fix your relationship. He gives you the tools to help you build permanent and lasting connections and a deeper intimacy with those in your life.

Services

  • Marriage Counselling – Windsor
  • Couples Therapy – Windsor
  • Relationship Coaching – Windsor
  • Imago Therapy

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P: 519-966-1408 C: 226-346-2503 john@johnsullivancounselling.com
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Sat. 9am to 5pm

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