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John Sullivan Counselling

Marriage Counselling and Couples Therapy

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What Conscious Partners Know: 20-21

Continuing with What Conscious Partners Know: 20-21

20 The energy in their relationship has a ripple effect in their social environment.

21 They know how to orient themselves toward maintaining connection with each other, while staying open to all parts of themselves, their personality, and their sense of individuality.

20: Relationship Energy out in Society

  1. The energy in their relationship has a ripple effect in their social environment.

When I wrote the book Dream Relationship How to Make the Most of Available Tools for Your Happily-Ever-After, as part of the research, I interviewed just under 100 business owners, professionals, entrepreneurs and employers here in Windsor and the surrounding area about the impact of relationships on their businesses, employees, customers and clients. Here is what I wrote at that time:

Almost without exception, they all confirmed what common sense would dictate: If one’s personal relationship is off-center, the repercussions reverberate everywhere. The common refrain was that the relationship at home has a direct impact on the work environment. No man is an island, and whether positive or negative, what we bring to the workplace matters. 

The employers I interviewed were consistent in their responses. Their experience was that if the relationship at home was struggling it made everything more difficult, whereas if the relationship was flourishing, things went much more smoothly. Other common refrains included:

  • Relationships affect everything
  • Relationships are everything
  • Absolutely, there is a snowball effect, and the effects show up everywhere
  • 100% relationships affect health
  • There is a ‘trickle-down’ effect
  • Relationships are one of the cornerstones of the workplace; when positive, it’s helpful everywhere
  • Relationships affect the children

21: Individuality vs. Maintaining Connection

  1. They know how to orient themselves toward maintaining connection with each other while staying open to all parts of themselves, their personality, and their sense of individuality. 

Again, every couple has to figure this one out. I think it goes back to #13 :“They need to differentiate so they can move from symbiosis to connecting.” I could live without my wife, and she certainly could live very well without me. We don’t need each other, but we have chosen to go in the same direction together.

Therefore, we know it is important to integrate activities that help us maintain connection with each other, while at the same time striving to be the best person we can be – physically, mentally, and spiritually.  The flip side of that coin is the importance of encouraging and supporting my partner to be the best she can be. 

 

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: conscious partners, dream relationship, happily ever after, imago relationship therapy, partner, partners, relationship, relationships, social environment

Relationship Issues

Strategies

Over the next few weeks, I will share some strategies that I originally wrote about in my first book Create the Relationship of Your Dreams (2015). I accidentally came across the book in England when we were there celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary. A friend had the book, which I had completely forgotten about, but […]

What Conscious Partners Know: 24 and 25

This week, we’re exploring What Conscious Partners Know: 24 and 25 They need to acknowledge each other’s “otherness”, accept each other’s differences, affirm each other’s reality, adore each other’s traits, and advocate for each other’s reality and potential. They must differentiate before they can connect, so they accept each other as an “other” and accept […]

What Conscious Partners Know – 22 and 23

Continuing on with What Conscious Partners Know – Chapters 22 and 23 Connecting is sustained by intentionality, so they speak with a positive tone and use only appreciative or neutral words in all transactions, which helps them feel connected most of the time. The sign of a thriving relationship is how quickly partners engage in […]

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About The Coach

That's how he likes to think of himself - a coach. John Sullivan won't fix your relationship. He gives you the tools to help you build permanent and lasting connections and a deeper intimacy with those in your life.

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