Cynthia, Author at John Sullivan Counselling

Your Brain has a Mind of Its Own

Helen, who is writing this chapter, begins with: “The brain can be divided into two parts: the lower brain, which we call the Crocodile; and the higher brain, which we call the Owl.” (p.100) Years ago, in my book Dream Relationship, I began with a similar concept: “Safety: the key to a great relationship. The […]

Negativity is a Wish in Disguise

The other day a client brought up the question of what to do with his negative thinking. He knows he isn’t supposed to be negative but a lot of anger is present when his partner continues to do certain behaviours. Harville addresses this very issue in his chapter on “Negativity is a wish in disguise”. […]

Safe Conversation: It’s Not WHAT You Say But HOW You Say It

I imagine we have all probably heard the saying “It’s not what you say but how you say it.” Helen, who is writing this chapter, takes this idea to a whole new level. In her last chapter, Being Present for Each Other Heals the Past, she challenged us to answer the call to become each […]

Strategies

Over the next few weeks, I will share some strategies that I originally wrote about in my first book Create the Relationship of Your Dreams (2015). I accidentally came across the book in England when we were there celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary. A friend had the book, which I had completely forgotten about, but […]

What Conscious Partners Know: 24 and 25

This week, we’re exploring What Conscious Partners Know: 24 and 25 They need to acknowledge each other’s “otherness”, accept each other’s differences, affirm each other’s reality, adore each other’s traits, and advocate for each other’s reality and potential. They must differentiate before they can connect, so they accept each other as an “other” and accept […]

What Conscious Partners Know – 22 and 23

Continuing on with What Conscious Partners Know – Chapters 22 and 23 Connecting is sustained by intentionality, so they speak with a positive tone and use only appreciative or neutral words in all transactions, which helps them feel connected most of the time. The sign of a thriving relationship is how quickly partners engage in […]

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Your Brain has a Mind of Its Own

Negativity is a Wish in Disguise

Safe Conversation: It’s Not WHAT You Say But HOW You Say It

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