In Chapter 8, we will explore how Safe Conversations Work in Every Aspect of Life. The authors simply offer examples from around the world, of Safe Conversation process working in several situations and settings.
One example was a coach with an alcoholic client. Two examples of a makeup artist using it at a photo shoot.
Safe Conversation Example: Makeup Artist
The first was simply to calm nerves and then, when the photo shoot team moved to a city that had been the scene of a mass shooting, how to help everyone on the team be aware of the delicate atmosphere they were working in. Most of the people they were photographing that day had children in the school where 19 students and two teachers had been killed and seventeen others wounded.
A man and his cousin, whom he had been close with, but the relationship had deteriorated when the cousin started a new relationship.
A relationship where the couple had divorced but were seeing each other again. They attended a Safe Conversations workshop together and two weeks later remarried.
Another Example in Isreal
In Israel, an Imago therapist was asked by the minister of education to help create a school manual that included various aspects of the Safe Conversations dialogue.
A kindergarten teacher using it with two youngsters having a battle over a Pokemon toy in the classroom. She did the mirroring, but the kids both felt heard.
Resolving a conflict in an alternative high school.
A police officer using it with first responders.
A woman working with her mother who had Alzheimer’s.
With a belligerent client in a homeless encampment/safe-sleep sanctuary.
Safe Conversation Dialogue Effectiveness
They end the chapter with “We are still amazed by all the stories showing the real-world effectiveness of SC Dialogue, even though we have taught and practiced if for over forty years as therapists. More recently, we’ve taught it to the general public and trained persons from all walks of life to use it and teach it.
When people are seen, heard, and valued, you get the same outcome: people feel safe, share their feelings, and experience connection with friends, spouses, and strangers.” (p.164)
Experience Using SC Process
Like the authors, I have used the Safe Conversation process in the office for 35 years. I can think of two personal examples of it working with other than couples, and to be very truthful, the results surprised me in both cases. The first was a father/son business relationship which had been problematic for 30 years. One hour of actually hearing each other, the relationship really shifted. The other example was a mother/daughter relationship where both had felt controlled by the other. Again, in one hour of really seeing, hearing and valuing the other, the relationship shifted.
Next week Chapter 9 – The Power of Safe Conversations in Groups.
