In the last chapter, the authors gave numerous examples of how the Safe Conversation Process worked in everyday life in a wide array of situations and settings. I added two examples of my own where I was surprised at how well it worked in situations other than with couples in my office. In Chapter 9 they explore using Safe conversations in groups of people. They call this process Group Dialogue. Its purpose:
“is to help communities of all sorts (to) use the Safe Conversation Dialogue process and to allow members of groups to speak honestly and openly while exchanging viewpoints and perspectives with one another – even when they might have been contentious and ineffective in the past.” (p.168)
For this process, they developed these guidelines:
5 Guidelines for Safe Conversation in Groups
- “Establish a commitment to Zero Negativity in the meeting.
- Ensure that the agenda, objective, time allotted, and people involved are set up for success.
- Make an appointment in a one-on-one dialogue. This ensures that all involved are prepared and available to connect.
- Share and mirror. Each member of the group shares their ideas about the topic. Their contribution is validated and captured in a central place.
- Summarize.” (p.170)
The rest of the chapter explores three instances where the Group Dialogue Process has been used successfully.
3 Examples of Safe Conversations in Groups
- The first was a group Harville facilitated “which had not agreed on a plan in nine months, (and) had reached a unified resolution in under three hours.” (p.172)
- A second example came from the West African country of Liberia where again they learned “in Africa that our Safe Conversation Dialogue tools can be useful in any culture to help anybody talk about anything to anyone, despite their differences.” (p.178)
- The last example comes from war-torn Israel/Palestine and the work that was done in Israel prior to October 7, 2023, by Orli Wahrman
Orli Wahrman was the Imago faculty member spearheading Group Dialogue. “Communologue (Group Dialogue) empowers participants to move from entrenched power struggles into compassion, deep understanding, and a free exchange of ideas.” (p.184) The authors included this example even after the attacks of Oct. 7 and the resulting conflict, which obviously has set the process back.
Conclusion of Chapter 9
They conclude this chapter: “While reconciliation, healing, and peace may seem profoundly remote, we remember that the same was true at one point for people traumatized under apartheid in South Africa or during the civil war in Liberia or for the countless other nations ravaged by war. Safety, however, is indiscriminately an absolute. Without safety, Safe Conversation Dialogue is not possible. Thus, with Orli’s blessing, we share the work that was done in Israel prior to October 7.” (p.180)
Next week Chapter 10 – Safe Conversations at Work
