• Home
  • About
  • Services
    • Marriage Counselling
    • Couples Therapy
    • Relationship Coaching
    • Imago Therapy
  • Shop
  • FREE Master Class
  • Blog
  • Resources
  • Contact

John Sullivan Counselling

Marriage Counselling and Couples Therapy

P: 519-966-1408   C: 226-346-2503
FREE INITIAL ASSESSMENT

Enneagram 8 – Asserter or Challenger

Today, we explore Enneagram 8. As I have said before, half of what I do in the office is to help people become more aware – more conscious. If they can become aware that what they are doing is counter-productive, they can then make different choices. I use myself as an example. In the first 15 years of our marriage, if my wife came on too strong I would shut down. When I stepped back and looked at that behaviour, it was pretty counter-productive, but I did it for a long time. Once I became aware of that pattern, I could then make different choices.

Enneagram 8

The Enneagram is just one tool to help raise awareness but it is a good one. It helps us see the motivation behind what we do. There are 9 different personality types described by the Enneagram. Today we are looking at Enneagram 8 – the Asserter or Challenger.

Eights are motivated by the desire to protect themselves and the environment around them. They uphold just causes and truly do fight for what they believe is right. Because they are fiercely independent and the captains of their own ships, their biggest fear is being controlled by others. Enneagram 8 doesn’t shy away from conflict at all. In fact, they often embrace it. They see conflict as a way of life and something that needs to be dealt with, typically in a timely manner. They are direct with their words and behaviors and know what they need to do to move on. A blind spot for the eight can be in assuming their truth equals the truth. 

The three eights I know best are very much into social justice causes. The description “The Challenger” fits them and they truly do march to a bigger drum than I do. They are visionaries who support the underdog; they see injustice and strive to right it. 

Enneagram 8 Wings

The wings for eights are 9 and 7. Eights with a more developed seven wing tend to be more extroverted, enterprising, energetic, quick and egocentric. Eights with a more developed nine wing tend to be more mild-mannered, gentle, receptive and quietly strong. 

Enneagram 8 Movements

The movement for eights is to 2 and 5. When eights move toward the positive side of two they open up to others and reveal their vulnerability. They become more concerned for the welfare of others and become more loving and lovable; and are able to express their softer, more gentle sides. The positive move to five allows them to step back and see things from a more objective point of view and think things through more thoroughly before acting. 

Remember this is just a quick snapshot of one of the Enneagram types. There is lots of information out there on the Enneagram. One place is my wife Crystal’s website Journey to Inner Wisdom. If you are interested in learning more, she will be doing some online workshops on the Enneagram in the fall. Check it out. 

 

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: assertive, challenging, enneagram, enneagram 8, personality, personality types

Relationship Issues

Truth 8: Your Brain Has a Mind of Its Own

Moving on to Truth 8 Brain science tells us “that the brain can be divided into two parts: the lower brain, which we call the Crocodile, and the higher brain, which we call the Owl. The lower brain is often referred to as the reptilian center of the brain. Like the Crocodile, it is highly […]

Truth 7: Negativity is a Wish in Disguise

We’ve reached Truth 7 in the book, Negativity is a Wish in Disguise. Harville, in this chapter, is dealing with frustrations, which tend to be the hardest piece of the Imago system. Why? Typically, what frustrates your partner is difficult for you to change because often it is your weak suit. For example, way back, […]

Truth 6 (cont.): Negativity is Invisible Abuse

Continuing with Truth #6: Negativity is Invisible Abuse. Last week Helen suggested that there are three key ways we can unknowingly slip into negativity. They are: Critical thinking, Competition, Constructive criticism. So how do you stop being negative if it is habitual? Harville and Helen’s solution for themselves was pretty straightforward. How to Stop Being Negative […]

Older Articles

About The Coach

That's how he likes to think of himself - a coach. John Sullivan won't fix your relationship. He gives you the tools to help you build permanent and lasting connections and a deeper intimacy with those in your life.

Services

  • Marriage Counselling – Windsor
  • Couples Therapy – Windsor
  • Relationship Coaching – Windsor
  • Imago Therapy

Connect

           

Contact

P: 519-966-1408 C: 226-346-2503 john@johnsullivancounselling.com
Hours - Mon-Fri 9am to 8pm
Sat. 9am to 5pm

© Copyright 2016 John Sullivan Counselling · All Rights Reserved · Website by Oliver Marketing · Admin