The third step of the Safe Conversation Process is empathy – getting in touch with the sender’s feelings. Empathy is the communication to another person that you hear and understand his or her feelings and that they make sense. It is really a guess at what they are feeling. I might say, “You seem angry”, […]
Chap 9. – Imago Dialogue: Validation
“To make somebody feel valued as a person, or feel that his or her ideas or opinions are worthwhile … is precisely what the second step of Imago Dialogue, validation, is meant to do. Very simply, it sends the message from the receiver to the sender, ‘You make sense, and what makes sense is …”(p.206) […]
Chap: 9: Imago Dialogue – The Process of Connecting
The authors make a strong case for what they perceive to be the dominant form of dialogue for centuries – the monologue. “For eons, monologue and its vertical structure have predominated not only intimate partnerships but also in virtually every other kind of human relationship – king and subject, lord and servant, father and son, […]
Chap. 8: Developmental Challenges of Connecting
This week, we’re exploring the Developmental Challenges of Connecting. In the two earlier editions of Getting the Love You Want, Harville and Helen used the term “wounded” to describe how we all come out of childhood. l never liked the term. I certainly didn’t feel wounded and most of the folks who come into my […]
A New Year: Reexamine Your Relationship
It’s a brand new year, a great time to reexamine your relationship. Before going on to Chapter 8, let’s take a look at what conscious couples know. If you are in a relationship, check off the ones that are already a part of your ingrained knowing. The authors state: “Based on the practices conscious couples […]
Chapter 7: Conscious Partners (con’t)
In discussion of Chapter 7, I ended last week on the notion of safety between conscious partners. The authors state: “Safety is the necessary and sufficient condition, the sine qua non, of a conscious partnership.”(p.157) “The Space-Between is the environment in which a conscious partnership is created and real love is born. It must be […]
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