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Chapter 2: The Zone of Safety; Key to a Successful Relationship

“Safety is the second important piece of your playbook. Why Safety? Because safety is built into your DNA – your survival. … Our knowledge of exactly how the different parts of the brain interact and how they developed is constantly expanding; however, the consensus of opinion among most experts is that our brain stem is […]

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: couple therapy, couples, harville and helen, harville hendrix, relationship, relationship playbook, relationship safety, relationships, safety, zone of safety

Chapter 4 – Empathy with Everyone

“Finding a pathway to be seen, heard, and valued and to see, hear, and value others involves learning and practicing four skills.” (p.39) The four skills of the Safe Conversations Process include: The Safe Conversation Dialogue, Empathy with everyone, Zero Negativity, and Affirmations. Last week I looked at the Safe Conversations Dialogue. This week let’s […]

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: empathy, harville hendrix, Helen LaKelly Hunt, safe conversation, safe conversation process, safe relationships, safety

The Zone of Safety: Key to a Successful Relationship

Safety is the second important piece in your playbook.  Why safety? Because safety is built into your DNA – your survival. I am not talking here about physical safety because that has to be a given in any successful relationship, but rather emotional and psychological safety; the safety to be yourself in your relationship and […]

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: safety, successful relationship, zone of safety

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Relationship Issues

Truth 9: Your Marriage is a Laughing Matter

The title of this chapter camouflages a more serious philosophical question: as humans, who are we really?  Harville’s contention is that: “At our core is JOY. It is our essential nature – with us from the moment of birth. Birds have flocks. Dogs have packs. Horses have herds. And humans are wired for connection.  Connection […]

Truth 8: Your Brain Has a Mind of Its Own

Moving on to Truth 8 Brain science tells us “that the brain can be divided into two parts: the lower brain, which we call the Crocodile, and the higher brain, which we call the Owl. The lower brain is often referred to as the reptilian center of the brain. Like the Crocodile, it is highly […]

Truth 7: Negativity is a Wish in Disguise

We’ve reached Truth 7 in the book, Negativity is a Wish in Disguise. Harville, in this chapter, is dealing with frustrations, which tend to be the hardest piece of the Imago system. Why? Typically, what frustrates your partner is difficult for you to change because often it is your weak suit. For example, way back, […]

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About The Coach

That's how he likes to think of himself - a coach. John Sullivan won't fix your relationship. He gives you the tools to help you build permanent and lasting connections and a deeper intimacy with those in your life.

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