When couples come into my office, generally things are not going very well. I propose they take a trip with me. The Wellness Journey moves them from where they are, which is often on Pain Island, to where they want to be, which is on Pleasure Island. On Pain Island couples often feel or say […]

Zero Negativity is the last piece of the combination lock to having the relationship of your dreams. The first four Keys to the Lock are: The past affects the present Safety – your lower brain/brain stem The Safe Conversation Process – mirroring, validation and empathy The Space Between Eliminate All Negativity In a conscious relationship […]

The Safe Conversation Process is a structured way of talking that ensures safety. It is a three-step process consisting of: mirroring, validation, and empathy. The mirroring step makes sure you have really listened to and heard your partner before you can speak. Validation The validation step takes issues out of the power struggle, which tends […]

If safety is all-important in a relationship, and if the past does affect the present, and since talking is the main way we communicate with each other, then we absolutely must learn to talk to our partner in a safe way – about anything. The Safe Conversations process ensures partners do just that. It is […]

Here, we will explore 2 possible solutions for relationship issues. If the past does affect the present as Imago theory contends, then especially at the start, you are probably going to be partnered with someone who will trigger old negative feelings, often unintentionally  (like the feeling of “being dismissed”). Therefore, you will need to come […]