The point Gottman is stressing in Principle 3 is that couples who engage in lots of what might be called small,  humdrum actions of connection, tend to remain happy. Actions as simple as chatting during lunch or watching the news together count. Real-life romance “is kept alive each time you let your spouse know he […]

Today we focus on John Gottman’s Principle 2 in The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Knowing and understanding your partner is important, but happily married couples go farther; they SHOW their fondness and admiration. None of us is perfect, but energy really does follow attention. You can focus on the negative qualities or idiosyncrasies […]

Last week I outlined the 6 indicators in a relationship leading toward divorce from John Gottman’s book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. This week, let’s explore Principle 1: Enhance Your Love Maps. They are: a harsh start up to a discussion what he calls the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse – criticism, contempt, […]

by John Gottman Gottman is a renowned relationship expert who has been working with couples for over 40 years. He is the founder and director of The Gottman Institute which houses a laboratory at the University of Washington in Seattle where “for 16 years I spearheaded the most extensive and innovative research ever into marriage […]

Gardening and relationships share a similar path. Leaving a garden or a relationship unattended has consequences. We are lucky to have a large garden on our property. Saturday, Sept. 10 was the one-year anniversary of getting my left hip replaced. (the operation was 100% successful. I can’t believe the difference). However, the year before the […]

I started out exploring the Enneagram because in any relationship the more we know about ourselves and our partner, the more helpful it is. From The Enneagram Made Easy “The Enneagram is a study of the nine basic types of people. It explains why we behave the way we do, and it points to specific […]